Wear Your Life Well

Confessions to My Mother

I recently had one of those moments - the I-just-didn't-realize instant when my relationship with my mother forever expanded.

You see, she just turned 80 and in preparation for that celebration I gathered old photographs, talked with friends and family members and listened to lots of stories in order to try to capture her essence and her life. 

Sounds simple enough, but it wasn't easy. Despite all the different hairdo's, outfits, looks and sizes over the years, I really only had one picture of her in my mind. There was an AHA moment when I realized that she is a woman who has played many roles to many people in her life - and she is much more than just my mother.

Like most mother/daughter relationship over the years, we have consistently loved each other and driven each other crazy at the same time. We've always worked things out and been there for each other. I haven't always told her how much I appreciate her, because quite frankly I spent too much time being her child when I am around her. So it's about time that I share somehearfelt sentiments.

Dear Mom,

I admire your strength. You've had a difficult life and yet remain one of the most resilient people I know.

I admire your love and acceptance. You love everyone for exactly who they are make extra-ordinary efforts to make sure your love is felt.

I admire how well you take care of yourself. You know how important it is to stay healthy to maintain quality of life.

I admire how what a wonderful friend you are. You are always there for people with kind words or a listening ear to support those who need it.  

I admire how much everyone loves you.

I really do want to be just like you mom. I'm starting to have the same facial expressions as you. Some of my habits are strangely similar to yours now. I know my Christmas cookies will never taste as good as yours and I'll admit I've given my children every piece of advice you've ever given me, even though I rejected it at the time.

You are a wonderful mother and friend. I'm glad you are mine.

I love you.

Helene

Fashion 911 Tip: Fall Updates 2011

September is looming and it's only a matter of time before we trade in our cotton gardening gloves for leather gloves, sandals for boots and mother nature convinces us that it's time to pull our sweaters and jackets out of the closet. Sigh.

As much as we are sad to see summer end, this year's new fall fashions are something to look forward too because they are wearable and wonderful styles that look classy, not crazy.

Here are some of my favorite pieces to incorporate into your wardrobe to inspire you to change things up a bit.

1. Oversize Sweater

Pick something in a sumptuous colour and remember the universal rule of balance and proportion. Long or oversize over short or narrow.

2. Coloured Pants

Go crazy with colour on the bottom and wear it with a neutral top. It's a great way to shake-up the traditional way we wear our outfits. It looks fresh and fun. Be sure to fit your shape with the perfect fitting pants.

3. Leopard Print

It can be anything from a sweater to a pair of shoes. A sophisticated, sassy and classy look is to keep it understated. When wearing animal prints avoid trashing the look by wearing too much of a good thing. Try a solid neutral outfit (black or brown) with leopard shoes that kicks the look up a notch. Don't forget some accessories that make a dramatic statement in keeping with the personality of the shoe.

4. Longer Skirts

A much awaited silhouette, hemlines are coming down and skirts are softer. So choose a style that will fit and flatter you and enjoy looking like a lady. Remember skirts are most slimming when they fall close to the body and are longer than they are wide.

5. Classic Shirt

You probably already have several , but if you don't rush out and find a well-fitting classic. This season in particular chambray denim or a classic crisp white are the most fashionable choices. Either gives you a lot of versatility. You can decided whether you want to dress them up, or down. Either way they work very well in every wardrobe.

How old is OLD?

"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."

Mark Twain

 
There are young people who are old, and old people who are young.

Which one are you? 

Truth is, it never happens at the same time for everyone. It's a personal choice. Simply put, anyone who keeps learning and challenging themselves stays young and anyone who stops gets old. 

The character we become reveals itself in our attitude. Are you starting to talk like you are old? Are your behaviours becoming that of an old person? What would people say about you? More importantly, what do say about you?

Age is the price we pay for maturity, strength and opportunity. It's possible to accomplish exciting new milestones, it just might not be as easy as it used to be.

That is what makes doing it even more rewarding.

Fashion 911 Tip: Fashion vs. Style

Many women underestimate the importance of true personal style. Let's face it, finding clothes that fit and flatter takes time and effort and can be a real pain in the neck. Your choices can be either a wardrobe triumph or disaster.

Fashion is what the designers and the garment industry puts out there for you to choose from. Style is what you decide to take from it.

If what you see in the stores, on the runways and in magazines doesn't work for you this season - just say NO. Fashion trends will change soon enough and you'll find the clothes that make you feel great.

VERTICALLY CHALLENGED AND MISSING HALF MY CLOTHES!
by Loretta LaRoche

I went shopping yesterday to buy some summer clothes and was hard pressed to find any pants or blouses that didn't look like they had been shrink wrapped. Something has happened to the sleeves on t-shirts, blouses and tunics. Someone in the fashion world decided that they should be three-quarters instead of full length.

The sales clerk in one of the stores I was in stated that this is what the majority of women want because they are cooler. I didn't get that explanation, because I have never had hot forearms that drove me to cut the bottom of my sleeves off. I can unequivocally state, that I don't like them, nor do I think they are flattering, unless you are young, thin and have long arms. I'm sure my opinion is jaded and somewhat cynical, but I personally don't think that older women have very exciting forearms, unless you've been training with the Navy Seals.

I have short arms, and wearing a blouse that has three quarter length sleeves gives them a stump look! Pant length has also been shortened. Capri's are now a phenomenon. Once again being short becomes a problem with this type of pant. They should hit you at mid-calf, but when you are vertically challenged, they often end up being just shy of the top of your ankle and end up looking like you had them hemmed by a pissed off seamstress.

Once again I think the taller you are the better you look. Wearing mid calf pants when you look like a Sumo wrestler doesn't really make sense either. I have also noticed that a lot of shirts and pants have lycra in them so that (according to the designers) they don't lose their shape. Well, lycra also attached itself to you like glue and it can make your lumps, bumps and muffin tops look grossly exaggerated. It also feels hot! Once again this is one woman's opinion. I find that material that skims over the body to be much more flattering. But then I come from a generation that had family watch dogs.

My grandmother, and my mother were not interested in following fashion. They were interested in making sure your appearance was commiserate with family values and respect. I'm sure sleeves and pants will get longer again. They have to because we all know that in order to sell, sell, sell, you need to keep convincing people who what they have doesn't work for them anymore."

Loretta LaRoche is an international stress management and humour consultant whose wit and irreverent humour has, for over 30 years raised the humour potential in all of us. Visit www.lorettalaroche.com

 

Nurture a love of Nature

 
I spent the evening sitting on my back deck soaking up the sunshine and filling my lungs with fresh air. At last, the weather is warming up, the rain has stopped and Spring is here. A frog is singing in our pond and my garden is growing.

I love to garden. Living where I do the season is short and that makes each gardening day even more precious. My husband tells me its cheaper than therapy for me. I can spend hours and hours on end digging, transplanting, hoeing and hauling. I lose total track of time. Every day I wander my garden to see which new plant is inching it's way out of winter hibernation. Every blossom that appears gives me a sense of awe and delight. My garden is nothing short of magic for me.

When I was growing up we didn't have computer games and social networking sites to take up our time and dull our imaginations. We didn't sit in front of a TV for hours on end. We went outside to play.  As a family we regularly went to the mountains to hike, fish, pick wild flowers and have a picnic. I learned about my surroundings and wildlife. I learned how to skip flat rocks across the water and how awesome it was to be outside.

When I went to my Oma's house she taught me about growing a garden. I remember helping her plant nasturtiums and marigolds in the front of her house. I always felt important when she let me help her irrigate her dry-land garden by creating strategically placed trenches with a hoe so that the water that had to be hauled in by truck could find it's way to the roots.And of course the reward for all this hard work was that we picked and ate fresh vegetables together. 

When Zoe comes to visit us, we do gardening things with her in the hope that we can instill a love of nature in her. Her parents often take her for nature adventures and to the Zoo. We all want her to value, enjoy and respect what no doubt is one of the greatest gifts we have been given.

She loves nature. Yesterday she was busy looking for Bambi, Thumper and Flower in the wilderness they were wandering in. It's OK that she found them on the DVD once they got home. Seems to me that strikes a good balance.

I worry about kids today. You don't see them playing outside very often. The American Pediatric Society has coined a new disorder "Nature Deprived Syndrome" because so many kids don't get to get in touch with nature on a regular basis. How sad.

Get those kids outside.Get them active and get them unplugged from all those digital devices. Don't deprive them the simple joy of being in touch with nature and themselves.

 

The Power of Words

Whether within our own thoughts, spoken or written there are many ways to say the same thing. Words can transform the world we live in - and our world within.

The words we speak are more than just a grouping of alphabet characters used to simply express how we feel. Words evoke emotion and can actually affect feeling. They can help, heal, inspire or encourage. Or they can hurt and harm.

Think about the words you use to talk to yourself and others. Choose them carefully and most important of all - lovingly.

Elizabeth Taylor: 1932 - 2011

Remembering Elizabeth Taylor for her great beauty, iconic persona, tireless humanitarian work and her compassion and optimism. Her screen life was often upstaged by her personal life, but she lived her life with spirit, sass and style.

When she turned 50 and her Hollywood career was winding down she looked back on her life and unapologetically said  "I don't entirely approve of some of the things I have done, or am, or have been. But I'm me. God knows I'm me."

In one of her last major interviews Taylor said "I never planned to acquire a lot of jewels or a lot of husbands."

Life doesn't always turn out the way we planned. Thank you for reminding us to live ours with authenticity. RIP.

International Women's Day

  

"Power can be taken, but not given. The process of the taking is empowerment in itself." 
-Gloria Steinem

We don't need experts with Ph.D's and daytime television talk shows to tell us how to live our lives. Women have always learned from other women. We need to share our stories and experiences and believe in ourselves and each other. If we want to get to equality, it's women who will have to lead the way.

Our world is filled with inspiring women from all walks of life from every economic and ethnic background. These women have overcome seemingly impossible difficulties and have the vision to follow their passions and dreams into uncharted territory. Most important of all they have the strength and courage to say no to the things and people that do not serve them. 

I am grateful to the generations of women that helped strengthen and empower us. Now, we must carry on their work and continue to liberate ourselves, own our power and have control over our own lives. 

Today is the 100th anniversary of International Women's Day. Are we equal yet? Until the answer is that opportunity is not distributed in our chromosomes we can never stop forging forward. We must concentrate on creating the new woman liberated from stereotypes.

Someday soon we will no longer apologize for being a woman.

Me and Martha

 
My grandaughter Zoe recently reminded me that she isn't two - she is almost three and that pretty soon she is going to have a birthday party and invite her friends from playschool.

My daughter was feeling some stress around the event because buying a fancy store-bought cake was out of the question. You see some of the children have allergies they struggle with and she wanted to be sure that they were not excluded from the food and festivities of the day. Typically in these situations the mom brings the 'special cupcake' that her child can eat without fearing anaphylactic shock.

Martha and I share the same birthday. I was up for the challenge and told my daughter I would make a cake for her and would find an inventive way to make the cake a special memory. Trouble is, I'm not particularly good at that sort of thing. I'm passionate about gardening, I can cook an awesome meal, but baking, well not so much.

In order to create an allergy-friendly confection I sourced out a recipe for Egg-Free Dairy-Free Nut-Free Chocolate Cake. I suspected that it might not be the most delicious cake ever, but I was sure that lots of brightly coloured icing could mask that.

The theme was Tinkerbell and I had as much fun as a kid making it. Definately the most tacky and most awesome cake I've ever made, it had a meadow, waterfall and pond made out of icing and fairy figurines I bought at the Disney Store. Clearly it was created with a lot of love, but not much talent.

The cake will never be featured in Martha Stewart Living, but it  was admired and enjoyed by everyone at a three year olds birthday party and most especially by Zoe.

And, that's a good thing.

Fashion 911 Tip: Shop in Your Own Closet

Most women have a burst-at-the-seams closet and still think they have nothing to wear even though at least half of their purchases are left to gather dust at the back of the closet. It's almost impossible to put together a cohesive wardrobe if you can't even see what is in there.

It's time to get ruthless and cull your clothes. If you are like many women you probably even have items with the price tag still on them and shoes you have not worn. 

A closet clear-out is often easier said than done for several reasons. For some guilt gets the best of you about the money wasted on clothes that you are not wearing. Perhaps it's about clinging to your 'skinny' wardrobe despite the fact that those articles of clothing no longer fit. For others it's emotional hoarding.

So, before you head to the stores for more impulse buying, take a shopping trip through your own closet. You've probably forgotten what is in there. Take a look with a fresh eyes. You might be surprised to find that you do have something to wear.