My husband turned 50 a few days ago. At an office get-together to celebrate I overheard two of the gals chatting and then in the middle of the conversation one said to the other "I have to say that you really look nice today, your hair, your outfit, everything." It was interesting to observe both of them during this interaction. Their faces lit up instantly and I could see their spirits soar.
When I offered some of the leftover carrot cake to one of my colleagues to take home she said to me "Helene, I must tell you when you walked into this gathering, I thought that you are the most beautiful woman in the room - you were absolutely glowing."
She must have picked up on my energy at that very moment. I was feeling pretty proud; somewhat like the cat that swallowed the canary because I actually managed to pull off a surprise party. My husband is the kind of guy who always manages to guess things. I don't know how he does it.
Compliments are a form of genuine appreciation that doesn't need to be restricted to hair, clothing and physical looks. You can give compliments on personality, energy, accomplishments...anything. A nice thought unspoken doesn't count. Giving a heartfelt compliment is an empowering thing for yourself and the recipient.
Who doesn't like hearing nice stuff? It makes you smile, it makes you feel good. It makes your day.
"You said you ' n ' me was gonna get out of town and for once just really let our hair down. Well darlin', look out cause my hair is comin' down"
Thelma Dickerson, Thelma & Louise
For my mother (who is now 79) the very notion of taking time for herself as a young woman was foreign. A recent immigrant from Europe she was tragically widowed at a young age with two small children to care for. Her day to day routine was caring for me and my younger brother, working from dusk to dawn and trying to survive. Her only social circle and support was from our extended family, church and a handful of close girlfriends.
Fun - what was that? Even if she did manage to find a few extra minutes in her day she would simply find more things to do for others. Culturally women were expected to take care of everyone else and forgo their own needs in order to do that - after all the martyr was a once-revered character. For her, the very idea of going out to do things just for fun without a man by her side was not even considered. Society would have labelled her selfish, a woman was expected to be tied to the home. She didn't date and marry again until she launched her youngest child.
In a recent article You Go, Girls written by Kim Gray, University of Calgary women's studies professor Fiona Nelson is quoted as saying "...the notion of women "having a good time" independent of their roles as moms and wives isn't as threatening as it might have once been. (I recall being told that my grandmother tried to launch a regular girls bridge night, but the men complained that their wives were "too loud" and "out of control." Ladies night was called to a halt and that was that.) Nelson goes on to say "When feminism was first introduced in the '60's I think men thought the world would end. But it didn't end. They are still eating supper, although occasionally they're making it...I think the men are finding out that life is less frightening when women are happy than when women are angry."
Happy wife, happy life?
Mom made sure I had the best childhood she could provide. I loved Pajama Parties when I was a giggling grade school girl - hanging out with my girlfriends and laughing a lot. In 1996 I had an idea for a fun little weekend getaway for women and since then The Pajama Party has had a life of its own. I took the concept out of the Rumpus Room to the luxurious Fairmont Jasper Park Lodge. Since then we have held annual events at a number of Fairmont resorts and city properties as well as tropical locations such as Bermuda and even a Caribbean Cruise.
Naturally, I invited my mother to come to the very first event with me. It was a big decision for her. She reminded me that she had never, ever been away on any kind of getaway that wasn't a family vacation or with her husband. She had tremendous guilt over even considering it at first, but then reluctantly and excitedly decided to come. She had the time of her life. After that first experience the guilt was gone. Several months later I was invited to speak at a Mother and Daughter Spa Weekend being held at the Fairmont Banff Springs Hotel. I invited mom. She rushed out and bought new luggage the next morning.
I've been fortunate to be able to share these experiences not only with the thousands of women who have attended these Pajama Party events over the years, but also with my two best girlfriends - my Mother Elise, and my Daughter Lisa. For us, The Pajama Party is a celebration of three generations, it's girl time we cherish with each other. We know that in good times and bad, through all the cycles of our lives we are always there for each other.
Our next event is being held at The Fairmont Jasper Park Lodge March 4-6, 2011. No one is going to scold you for staying up too late, laughing too hard or tell you to turn down the music. You can even bust out your craziest dance moves. You'll enjoy outstanding cuisine and postcard perfect scenery. We've planned a lighthearted program of seminars, demonstrations and entertainment for you to enjoy. Or, you can enjoy your own version of ME time.
Please accept my personal invitation to come and forge new friendships, deepen old ones and most important of all, have fun. Come on your own, with a friend or gather the gals in a group.Imagine a weekend with no cares or catering to anyone while you enjoy spending quality time and some good giggles with the most important women in your life.
Welcome to a celebration of growing older (and hopefully wiser) with style, spirit and sass. This blog was created for all women who are no longer young but far from old.
It's a gathering place to explore everything that matters to you. Get the information, insights and motivation you need to navigate the second half - the best half of your life. Whatever part of your life needs tweaking, you'll enjoy reading about topics relevant to your age and stage in life.
Join our on-line community of like-minded women and tap into the collective wisdom of girlfriends. Questions? Want some advice? Ready to rant? Give us your opinions and join in the conversations.
Let's laugh, cope and give each other hope.
WHO IS HELENE?
At an angst-inducing age, Helene Oseen is trying to make sense of life as a woman, wife, mother, grandmother and girlfriend. She engages women through her writing and speaking as she shares a refreshingly personal take on mid-life with stories, anecdotes, advice and insights with her trademark warmth and wit. Helene inspires women to wear their life well in the pursuit of happiness and of course, in finding that perfect outfit...
Are you interested in sharing your wisdom, musings and opinions about the trials and tribulations, belly laughs and success's along the midlife journey? If so, we'd be happy to have you submit a guest post idea that is unique, relevant and fills a gap in our current content and archives.
