Wear Your Life Well

Get Your Style Groove Back

 

Have you ever seen a mannequin display with a great looking outfit and thought to yourself "That's pretty, but I can't wear that, I'm too old for it." Or, flipped through the pages of a magazine and decided that the looks they are showing are not for you because they look too foreign to anything you currently have.Take a look at your closet. Are you stuck in a serious style rut? Do you have more and more of the same kind of clothes? Boring.

It's time to get more adventurous and get your style groove back. Contrary to popular belief, the biggest mistake mature women make isn't dressing too young, it's dressing too old. You have probably noticed other women your age who look great in the new trend? How are they wearing it? What are they wearing it with? Chances are they are wearing it with confidence because that's the biggest secret to style.

Updating your wardrobe can be like updating a room - sometimes once you start the renovation you realize you love the new look but now it makes the rest look dated and you need some other things to pull it all together.

Your initial instincts might be right - but they could just as easily be wrong and you won't know until you try it on. Don't evaluate the look based on one garment. Perhaps that same look by a different designer will fit you better, or has detailing that you like better. You might just end up saying "Yup, I can wear that."

If you do buy something that is out of your safety zone and you are still not sure how you feel about it, take it home and try it out. If you don't love it, don't keep it. Most stores have excellent return policies.

Have fun. Play dress-up. Don't be afraid to make mistakes - be afraid not to. 

Fashion 911 Tip: Ugly Christmas Sweaters

Whether decorated with sparkly dancing snowmen, penguins wearing scarves on skis, a glowing yule log on the fire or even Santa flying his reindeer in a snowstorm, the ugly Christmas sweater season is upon us.

What's old is new again. That is, only if you didn't live through the trend many years ago when people actually wore them to their holiday soirees. So, if you still have this type of cheesy holiday attire lurking in the back of your closet, re-cycle but don't re-use. Younger trendoids and fashionistas are in pursuit of these garish garments to wear to the hottest trend in holiday parties. Yes, you guessed it - the Ugly Christmas Sweater Party.

Don't YOU even think about wearing this gastly garb again. You'll scare the ghosts of Christmas past.

Fashion 911 Tip: Fashion Magazines

You can play a glam game no matter what your budget. Fashion magazines are a wonderful way to hone your fashion eye and fine tune your style. There doesn't need to be an ounce of reality involved because you can pretend you can buy anything on the page. It's all about inspiration.

Go ahead, find the looks you love and tear out those pages. Paste them into a scrapbook, put them in a file or just lay them out on the table. The results are often a real revelation. What are the visuals telling you? Since there is a powerful connection between clothing, emotion and expression ask yourself: Are these outfits similar to what you are are wearing now, or are you yearning for a new look? Do these outfits have more color or less color than you normally wear? Are you more attracted to certain silhouettes and styles? Are you favoring prints over plain? Is it the way they are accessorized that you find interesting? What is consistent in these looks - what's the common denominator?

Its a great way to navigate trends and stay aware of your own style evolution - one fashion magazine at a time.

Style Evolution

 

Our style evolves with each decade. In our teens and 20's we are busy playing dress-up  and the fashion world (and stores) cater to us. We are comfortable experimenting with a lot of different looks and looking for our identity through clothes. Then in our 30's many of us join the mommy club and combine that full-time job with our full-time careers. We establish our identities through the roles we play in our relationships, with our kids and in our careers. For most of that decade we are running on empty. We still want to look good but life has gotten a lot more complex and the amount of time and energy we are able to spend on ourselves is significantly smaller. It is also less of a priority. By the time we are in our 40's we have outgrown much of who we were and with the help of menopause most of our clothing as well. By the end of that decade and into our 50's we are no longer young, but far from old. We are in midlfe. It's the decade that we start to feel lost, not really sure of who we are and what it's all about. Our roles and identities are changing and our closets often reflect that. In our 60's and beyond we have more time, more money and more courage to come to grips with aging. Embrace your own style evolution. This is how:

• Re-evaluate your look on a regular basis. If you want a really honest answer, ask your kids.
• Choose clothing that fits and flatters who you are today to express your personality in a look that suits your lifestyle.
• Find the perfect balance between classic dressing with contemporary design.
• Don't get into the style rut of same old, same old. Open your mind to new possibilities and perspectives.

Women with ageless style always stay true to who they are, no matter what their age and stage of life.

Getting Over Getting Older

 

 

Most of the time I like being fifty-something, but this aging stuff is complex. Inside I still feel like I'm in my thirties, but then reflected that's the age of my children. One day recently I caught a glimpse of my hands and realized they look like my mothers. I've already made peace with the lines around my eyes and the brackets around my my mouth, justifying them with the fact that I laugh a lot, but saggy skin on my hands - yikes - I'm old.

 Although easier said than done, there is no point in having angst about aging. Two undeniable truths are that everyone ages and aging sucks.

A book I particularly love, about how we as women think about ourselves is, New Passages by Gail Sheehy. She says,

"Our concern with how we look as we age may be superficial, but it's natural. We shouldn't be ashamed of obsessing about it from time to time. After all, this is one aspect of the passage to the Age of Mastery that all of us face." she goes on to say "it's about finding a new version of attractiveness. It's making the most of whatever external beauty we have, but also activating sources of internal value. Once we begin to accept and enjoy the roundedness and normal weight gain, the wrinkles and sags that come naturally with maturity, we become grounded."

So, instead of having a vanity crisis, I've decided to embrace the journey to my next life cycle. Like every other woman, I can't stop or reverse the aging process no matter what I do. I don't have a best-before date and no matter what the cosmetic industry claims, a jar of expensive creme doesn't contain the fountain of youth. I've made the decision that botox and various nips and tucks are not for me.I believe the best face to put forward to the world is the one I was born with.

Some people think that life after 40 is all downhillI but it's not. I've finally figured out who and what I want to be when I grow up and I have more confidence, more personal power and more taste than I did when I was younger. There is still so much more that I want to do. So, if along with these gifts of life the other joyful aspects of aging like chin hairs, sagging skin, a slipping memory, age spots and an ever expanding waistline materialize, so be it. Bring it on.

I am not invisible and that insidious myth that the older a woman gets, the more disposable she gets erodes our self-confidence. Women are only as invisible as they chose to be. I no longer have forever to grow up, but I don't want to loose the goofiness of girlhood.

Living your life brings wisdom. Wisdom brought on with age. Aging is not about decline, it's about growth and possibility. The possibility of staying productive and creative, learning new things, seeing new places having fun and passing on what you have learned along the way to the generation that follows you.

Now don't get me wrong...despite being a happy and contented woman, there is still a lot about aging that scares me. I have joined the menopause club and know that this normal physical process affects my health and longevity. I do know that when I look my personal best I feel personally powerful. When I feel personally powerful I believe in myself and choose to embrace life no matter what challenging times and incredible opportunities await me.

I intend to wear my life well in the style and spirit of aging beautifully, inside and out. It's time to stop being who I was and change into who I am. Who am I beyond the roles I play? What really matters? What makes me happy? What am I capable of? It's time to find out.

Maya Angelou reminds us, "We have to value ourselves not for what we look like or the things we possess but for the women we are."

If the Shoe Fits

When women say, "How high should my heel be?"
I say, "How high can you handle and stay
in for two hours without having two Advil?"

Michael Kors

At what age do we go from Stiletto's to more sensible shoes? Nothing makes me crankier than a pair of shoes that hurt and I can't believe I spent so many years working in the fashion world wearing shoes that put me in severe pain at the end of the day. I look around today and see stylish younger women teetering on their high heels looking like they might fall and break their neck and I am grateful that one of the good things about getting older is finding the courage to just say "no, they hurt, I won't wear them anymore."

Guys just don't get why we love shoes so much. They don't seem to realize that each pair is a friend with a distinct personality. Some make us feel glamorous and sexy, others chic and sophisticated and yet others casual and funky. Our shoes have magical powers, just like Cinderella's slipper. Of course we need shoes that are the basics in our wardrobe - boots, evening shoe, classic pumps, ballet flats, casual shoes, sandals and sneakers. Then there are the shoes we want, and how many pair we have should only be limited by our budget.

Shoes always make us feel good. No matter whether we are currently fitting into our skinny pants or our fat pants, our foot size remains the same. Shoes never make you feel fat.

One of the biggest style mistakes we can make in midlife is foregoing stylish and accepting boring as the only comfortable alternative. There is nothing that says dowdy faster than old lady shoes and you know exactly those I am talking about. There are lots of cute, sexy, stylish and comfortable quality shoes available. They are an investment price that is worth every cent and if you can find them on sale that is a bonus. Buy good shoes. Spend the money. Happy feet = happy face.

Did I mention that I love shoes?

The Perfect Fit

 
You are determined to buy one fabulous new outfit this fall. But which one? There are so many choices. Oh- you love the collar on one, the colour of another is sublime and so you gather up the garments you like and into the fitting room you go.

Suddenly you realize that the garments you've tried on look better on the hangar than they do on you. Nothing seems to fit. You had the perfect fashion body once - the one with no chest, no waist, no hips and legs that look like they belong to birds. You were ten at the time.

Instant depression sets in and you are convinced that your body is uniquely weird. You wonder why designers don't make clothes that will fit you.

They do. You can't just throw on a garment and expect it to work. If you understand your body shape you can find clothes that look and feel right. Whether you are a size 4 or 24, style goes beyond size. Train your eye and your mind so that the body you were blessed with looks right.

Your basic body shape is determined by your skeletal structure. Oh sure we can tone and trim, but you will only become a more toned and trimmed version of what you are now. You can change the size of your body, but not the shape.

The location of your hip bone determines where you carry your weight. A woman with a tapered hip has a tiny waist in proportion to her hips and thighs. The minute she puts on weight it seems to find it's way automatically to create thunder thighs. Conversely, a woman with a high hip will have great legs and slim hips but anywhere she hangs her pantyhose is her waist.

No one body type is better than another. Everyone has figure realities (not flaws) to deal with when getting dressed.

Women with style recognize that a healthy body (no matter how the bust, waist and hip proportions are presented) can look fabulous. A good figure is a matter of visual proportion and you can dress the body you have to look like the one you wish you had. You can emphasize or de-emphasize as you choose with the clever use of line, colour and design.

Don't hide behind your clothing. Body confidence comes from wearing clothes that flatter. Simply choosing the correct size doesn't guarantee a good fit. Think of it as a puzzle. Does the shape of the garment compliment the shape of your body? If it does, you will have found clothing that flatters your figure and you'll leave the store strutting your stuff with confidence.

What Do I Want?

To tell you the truth, I'm already fed up with hearing about this fall season's must-have items and it's only September. After all isn't it me who should decide what I must have? And, given how many things I already have in my overcrowded closet it's an overstatement anyhow. Instead I'm going to call them my want-to-haves.

I was once a career fashionista, with a closet full of clothes and credit card debt to match. A friend once told me she kept her credit cards to the maximum for security reasons, just in case anyone ever stole them. There was a time we could convince ourselves of anything for that fabulous new outfit.

Although I was once obsessed with wearing the latest in designer labels I have re-thought my priorities in midlife. So, what now? I've been there, done that for most styles and trends. The latest IT item and fashion-forward pronouncements are no longer important to me. I still enjoy the fun and freshness of good fashion and I want to stay current. There is a balance to be struck and the less-is-more approach appeals to me now . I'm not prepared to spend long periods of time in front of a mirror every day and I definitely don't want to spend a fortune on clothes. Staying sensible and shopping smart are my new values and I have put my shopping spending on a diet. Having said all this, I hope you understand that I need to make a disclaimer statement. This value system doesn't apply with respect to all those cute new outfits that I love to buy for my young Granddaughter Zoe.

I just want to look good and feel good in my own skin and re-claim that special 'je ne sais qoui' in a style that is sophisticated, timeless and modern.

Yet, I'll admit. I still enjoy the retail therapy that shopping for something new, anything new every now and then provides.

Have your shopping habits changed over the years?