Wear Your Life Well

Stress Management?

by Guest Blogger, Linda Edgecombe

 
 

It has recently occured to me that I may be in need of a retreat of sorts. You know, a place to rest your mind and body. To find peace.

And if there's time after all that relaxing and reflecting) to have a massage. And perhaps a seaweed wrap, followed by a full body exfoliation and rehydration. And one of those two hour pedicures where they don't just paint your toes, they massage your feet and legs, while you lounge in a leather recliner chair, sipping coffee and reading trashy magazines. Ahhhh yes. A retreat is definately what I need.

And so, I was most intrigued to discover that a friend of mine had recently returned from just such a retreat. "What a coincidence" I exclaimed. "I was just thinking how a retreat is sooooo what I need. You know, lots of time to think and relax and just really focus on me!" Feeling totally motivated, I demanded details. My gosh. Maybe I can do this for Christmas. Yes. I will come back after New Years - trouble free and ready to enjoy life. I bet they have AMAZING bedding. And all sorts of little tiny soaps and shampoos that smell totally spa like and have really naturey names like "Sage Mint Shampoo" and "Birch Grass Conditioner." Yah me! I'm going on a retreat!

So. The retreat is in San Diego. Fabulous. Some people go for weeks, but others have been known to go for up to three months. Three whole months? Can't even imagine. There are classes offered in the mornings, afternoons and evenings. These classes vary from meditation to spiritual awareness to yoga. There is even one class devoted strictly to breathing. Just breathing in (ahhh) and breathing out (ahhh). This is supposed to calm the mind and allow one to really reflect on themselves and their troubles. What a brilliant idea.

The food sounds amazing. Everything is organic and they don't serve animal by-products. Now, I do enjoy meat, but in the interests of my mental and physical health, I'm sure I can suffer through a meat free week. I am eagerly telling my friend this, when she clarifies that no animal by products means no cheese. Hold the bus. No cheese? How are you supposed to relax? Okay, okay. Obviously a bit tense (hence the need for the retreat). I can handle this. I'm sure there's tons of lovely and exotic fruits and vegetables that will more than satisfy me. And maybe the fancy chefs can shape my veggies into the shape of a steak or something. I've heard that's how Cameron Diaz stays so thin - eating meat shaped vegetables. I calmly encourage my friend to tell me more about this lovely place. Don't want her thinking I'm some type of weirdo.

In the interests of health and wellness, they do not serve any caffeine or alcohol. "Uh huh." I hear myself saying. "But there is coffee and wine, right?" I can almost hear our friendship shredding itself to pieces. "No" she says politely. "No caffeine and no alcohol. None." I am baffled. No caffeine? How am I going to stay conscious for a two hour meditation class without any freaking coffee?! And how I am supposed to relax without any wine? They've already taken away the cheese. Honestly. Who designs these programs? I mean they say they want to help people, but if you ask me...I am busy contemplating the absurdity of this entire enterprise, when she continues by explaining that every week there are three juice only days (ie. NO food) and that you are required to take two wheat grass shots per day - one of which is an enema. Gasp! OMG. My friend has been brainwashed by some granola vitamin health food cult. I can't even begin to imagine the consequences of such a proceedure. And no cheese? No wine? No coffee? Days with no food at all?

Upon further reflection, it would seem that I will not be visiting a retreat any time soon. Instead, I shall lay in my cosy bed, munching Oreos, and blogging about my life.

Linda Edgecombe CSP is an author, professional speaker, mom of two, wife of one and expert on shifting perspectives. Visit her web-site www.lindaedgecombe.com

Girl Time

"You said you ' n ' me was gonna get out of town and for once just really let our hair down. Well darlin', look out cause my hair is comin' down"

Thelma Dickerson, Thelma & Louise

 

For my mother (who is now 79) the very notion of taking time for herself as a young woman was foreign. A recent immigrant from Europe she was tragically widowed at a young age with two small children to care for. Her day to day routine was caring for me and my younger brother, working from dusk to dawn and trying to survive. Her only social circle and support was from our extended family, church and a handful of close girlfriends.

Fun - what was that? Even if she did manage to find a few extra minutes in her day she would simply find more things to do for others. Culturally women were expected to take care of everyone else and forgo their own needs in order to do that - after all the martyr was a once-revered character. For her, the very idea of going out to do things just for fun without a man by her side was not even considered. Society would have labelled her selfish, a woman was expected to be tied to the home. She didn't date and marry again until she launched her youngest child.

In a recent article You Go, Girls written by Kim Gray, University of Calgary women's studies professor Fiona Nelson is quoted as saying "...the notion of women "having a good time" independent of their roles as moms and wives isn't as threatening as it might have once been. (I recall being told that my grandmother tried to launch a regular girls bridge night, but the men complained that their wives were "too loud" and "out of control." Ladies night was called to a halt and that was that.) Nelson goes on to say "When feminism was first introduced in the '60's I think men thought the world would end. But it didn't end. They are still eating supper, although occasionally they're making it...I think the men are finding out that life is less frightening when women are happy than when women are angry."

Happy wife, happy life?

Mom made sure I had the best childhood she could provide. I loved Pajama Parties when I was a giggling grade school girl - hanging out with my girlfriends and laughing a lot. In 1996 I had an idea for a fun little weekend getaway for women and since then The Pajama Party has had a life of its own. I took the concept out of the Rumpus Room to the luxurious Fairmont Jasper Park Lodge. Since then we have held annual events at a number of Fairmont resorts and city properties as well as tropical locations such as Bermuda and even a Caribbean Cruise.

Naturally, I invited my mother to come to the very first event with me. It was a big decision for her. She reminded me that she had never, ever been away on any kind of getaway that wasn't a family vacation or with her husband. She had tremendous guilt over even considering it at first, but then reluctantly and excitedly decided to come. She had the time of her life. After that first experience the guilt was gone. Several months later I was invited to speak at a Mother and Daughter Spa Weekend being held at the Fairmont Banff Springs Hotel. I invited mom. She rushed out and bought new luggage the next morning.

I've been fortunate to be able to share these experiences not only with the thousands of women who have attended these Pajama Party events over the years, but also with my two best girlfriends - my Mother Elise, and my Daughter Lisa. For us, The Pajama Party is a celebration of three generations, it's girl time we cherish with each other. We know that in good times and bad, through all the cycles of our lives we are always there for each other.

Our next event is being held at The Fairmont Jasper Park Lodge March 4-6, 2011. No one is going to scold you for staying up too late, laughing too hard or tell you to turn down the music. You can even bust out your craziest dance moves. You'll enjoy outstanding cuisine and postcard perfect scenery. We've planned a lighthearted program of seminars, demonstrations and entertainment for you to enjoy. Or, you can enjoy your own version of ME time. 

Please accept my personal invitation to come and forge new friendships, deepen old ones and most important of all, have fun. Come on your own, with a friend or gather the gals in a group.Imagine a weekend with no cares or catering to anyone while you enjoy spending quality time and some good giggles with the most important women in your life.

Mark your calendar and plan to attend. Visit www.thepajamaparty.info